In the unlikely case that anyone floating out there in cyberspace actually reads this thing, I apologize. Sorry sorry sorry sorry!
We are all muchos sorry for having gone into hibernation, but you see, we feel guilty about not revising intensely for our exams if we spend time writing on this blog.
Its easier to pretend there's no reason to be guilty if one sits with all their revision notes in front of them and watches glee instead. I mean, we're technically revising. Y'know, when the video pauses and has to buffer. I reckon its smart. Multitasking, comprendre?
Besides, typing too much is potentially health threatening nowadays. Writing for two hours straight, frantically, like a madman, doesn't really go down well with wrists, or fingers. Or your brain. Literally, my fingers will be nothing but spindly little bones after this whole GCSE parade.
Well, promiseeee we'll post more after exams, though I wish you wouldn't actually hold us to our word... Keeping it can be slightly problematic for people who are lazy, scatterbrained, and easily distracted. But then, I can only speak for myself.
:)
N.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
All mixed up in the wash, hot water bleeding our colours
Oh thank god.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Science exams are over.
In my opinion, science exams are the absolute worst. Think about it, maths may be difficult and hard and boring as hell, but imagine what is essentially three separate subjects squashed into the exam space of one subject. No fair.
But enough about exams.
What do you call a boyfriend who:
- only sees you on Fridays and when you both happen to have exams in school
- only texts once or twice a week
- NEVER goes online to talk to you, even if he is playing games on his laptop
- almost never calls
- almost always only spend three hours with you on the Friday
I have no idea. But I do know that I'm not in any way, at all, loving the situation. In fact, I don't even like the situation.
It's not like I don't love him anymore, because trust me, I do. Its just that it feels like I'm 'out of sight, out of mind' yknow?
This may just be my complicated over-analytical girl reasoning, but I feel kind of disposable. I feel like he's gotten so comfortable that he's taking me for granted.
Why don't I just talk to him, you say? Well, a, because its hard to mad at him when he's right there making me laugh and b, because I do not want to sound needy, clingy, pushy, or desperate. If he's okay with the way things are now, I should be too. Maybe I'm just asking for too much.
N.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Science exams are over.
In my opinion, science exams are the absolute worst. Think about it, maths may be difficult and hard and boring as hell, but imagine what is essentially three separate subjects squashed into the exam space of one subject. No fair.
But enough about exams.
What do you call a boyfriend who:
- only sees you on Fridays and when you both happen to have exams in school
- only texts once or twice a week
- NEVER goes online to talk to you, even if he is playing games on his laptop
- almost never calls
- almost always only spend three hours with you on the Friday
I have no idea. But I do know that I'm not in any way, at all, loving the situation. In fact, I don't even like the situation.
It's not like I don't love him anymore, because trust me, I do. Its just that it feels like I'm 'out of sight, out of mind' yknow?
This may just be my complicated over-analytical girl reasoning, but I feel kind of disposable. I feel like he's gotten so comfortable that he's taking me for granted.
Why don't I just talk to him, you say? Well, a, because its hard to mad at him when he's right there making me laugh and b, because I do not want to sound needy, clingy, pushy, or desperate. If he's okay with the way things are now, I should be too. Maybe I'm just asking for too much.
N.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sweet child o' mine.
1) If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy".
2) All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
3) If you just met a guy and know absolutley nothing about him, but need to refer to him during 'girl talk' you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes... that guy.
(Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy")
4) Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retreived.
5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into.
Exception: If he's one of those guys who every girl likes.
6) You are to never diss a friends boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he's being a asshole. In most cases it is easier to nod.
Exception: If a guy cheated or dumped your friend is is exceptional for you to claim he isn't good enough, and that she deserves better as well as reminding her that he was an asshole anyway.
7) If you wan't to date a friend brother it is required that you get said friends permission.
8) No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission to is granted their should be at least 3 other people with you.
9) No girl may have more than one 'Love of her Life' at one time, though having a boyfriend and a 'Love of her Life' is fine.
10) No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place.
11) No girl shall purchase a distinctive item of clothing which she is aware her friend owns without express permission from the friend.
12) No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner's permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.
13) An eye for an eye and a foot for a foot. If a friend borrows an item of clothing and destroys it, said friend must re-pay it.
14) The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville.
15) A girl who can substantially claim that she was not aware that a piece of information was a secret at the time she exposed it shall not be subject to punishment.
16) Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.
17) Always leave a man wanting more but don't leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.
18) If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, "I think she is more your type, you should call her".
19) Chicks before Dicks. Simple.
20) In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumor about a friend, and than apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.
21) In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friends side.
22) When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls.
23) Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.
Ex: 'I think your other jeans are nice', 'You should wear less eyeliner, you have great eyes'.
24) When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy.
25) When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can't go home you must allow her to stay at your house, without letting your parentals (if you live with them) find out.
26) When out with the ladies, if Girl #1 points out a guy that she is interested in, Girl #2 should avoid making a bee-line over to him to get his number for herself. Show some respect.
27) When said evening is described as a "Girls’ Night Out" that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. Consider it payback for all those tree houses and snow forts we couldn’t enter as children. Do not invite your boyfriend.
28) Stop being the "Me too!" girl If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder – and her story – by constantly trying to one-up her. For example:
GIRL 1: I had a horrible day. My flat iron broke in the middle of straightening, I dropped my brand new bottle of Burberry Touch on the bathroom floor, I missed the bus by two seconds and was late for school, my teacher yelled at me for something Sally did, and I got into a fight with Jason over whose family we’re spending Thanksgiving with.
GIRL 2: Oh that’s horrible. The same thing happened to me today, only I stepped in gum on the subway platform too. And when I went to scrape it off, I tripped and ripped my stockings and it reminded me of the time I was at my ex-boyfriend’s place for Christmas...
29) Be a responsible friend and not a 'Yes-Girl'. If a friend is asking you if she should get back together with her ex who chated on her, never wanted to hang out with her and than blamed her for them breaking up, and you say 'Yes', than you're a bad friend. Friends are supposed to protect and help friends. SO say your part even if they don't like what you have to say.
30) Don't be a hater. If a girl walks in looking gorgeous, girls automatically try to find something bad about her. But who knows? She could have just lose a friend, or got dumped, etc. So be nice and stop hating.
31) Don't go against the Girl Code
2) All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn't remember in the morning. He's not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
3) If you just met a guy and know absolutley nothing about him, but need to refer to him during 'girl talk' you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes... that guy.
(Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy")
4) Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retreived.
5) You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into.
Exception: If he's one of those guys who every girl likes.
6) You are to never diss a friends boyfriend except to agree lightly or nod when she says he's being a asshole. In most cases it is easier to nod.
Exception: If a guy cheated or dumped your friend is is exceptional for you to claim he isn't good enough, and that she deserves better as well as reminding her that he was an asshole anyway.
7) If you wan't to date a friend brother it is required that you get said friends permission.
8) No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission to is granted their should be at least 3 other people with you.
9) No girl may have more than one 'Love of her Life' at one time, though having a boyfriend and a 'Love of her Life' is fine.
10) No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place.
11) No girl shall purchase a distinctive item of clothing which she is aware her friend owns without express permission from the friend.
12) No girl shall borrow an item of clothing without asking the clothing owner's permission, unless both parties have made an official decision to waive this rule in the context of their friendship.
13) An eye for an eye and a foot for a foot. If a friend borrows an item of clothing and destroys it, said friend must re-pay it.
14) The penalty for exposing a secret to an unauthorized party shall be exile from Girlville.
15) A girl who can substantially claim that she was not aware that a piece of information was a secret at the time she exposed it shall not be subject to punishment.
16) Inside jokes are not to be explained to outsiders.
17) Always leave a man wanting more but don't leave him guessing too long since guys do not take hints easily.
18) If a guy your friend is into asks for your number, you are to deny it and walk away, and/or slip him your friends number while saying, "I think she is more your type, you should call her".
19) Chicks before Dicks. Simple.
20) In a case where a friend spreads a horrible rumor about a friend, and than apologizes they are to be given the cold-shoulder for at least 3 days.
21) In a fight between a friend and her boyfriend you must always choose your friends side.
22) When dating a girl should find equal and/or enough time to still hang out with her girls.
23) Never insult your friend but never let your friend leave the house looking hideous. Find a better way to tell your friend how they look.
Ex: 'I think your other jeans are nice', 'You should wear less eyeliner, you have great eyes'.
24) When a friend is drunk, never allow her to dial, drive or leave with a random guy.
25) When a friend calls you up complaining about how she is drunk and can't go home you must allow her to stay at your house, without letting your parentals (if you live with them) find out.
26) When out with the ladies, if Girl #1 points out a guy that she is interested in, Girl #2 should avoid making a bee-line over to him to get his number for herself. Show some respect.
27) When said evening is described as a "Girls’ Night Out" that means it is for GIRLS ONLY. Consider it payback for all those tree houses and snow forts we couldn’t enter as children. Do not invite your boyfriend.
28) Stop being the "Me too!" girl If your friend is telling a story, stop stealing her thunder – and her story – by constantly trying to one-up her. For example:
GIRL 1: I had a horrible day. My flat iron broke in the middle of straightening, I dropped my brand new bottle of Burberry Touch on the bathroom floor, I missed the bus by two seconds and was late for school, my teacher yelled at me for something Sally did, and I got into a fight with Jason over whose family we’re spending Thanksgiving with.
GIRL 2: Oh that’s horrible. The same thing happened to me today, only I stepped in gum on the subway platform too. And when I went to scrape it off, I tripped and ripped my stockings and it reminded me of the time I was at my ex-boyfriend’s place for Christmas...
29) Be a responsible friend and not a 'Yes-Girl'. If a friend is asking you if she should get back together with her ex who chated on her, never wanted to hang out with her and than blamed her for them breaking up, and you say 'Yes', than you're a bad friend. Friends are supposed to protect and help friends. SO say your part even if they don't like what you have to say.
30) Don't be a hater. If a girl walks in looking gorgeous, girls automatically try to find something bad about her. But who knows? She could have just lose a friend, or got dumped, etc. So be nice and stop hating.
31) Don't go against the Girl Code
Now, I think this code is harsh on girls.
Let me give you my less harsh equivalent:
1. Six weeks? Your friends should be more in tune with your life. Tops one week. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this, but you'd hope that your friends would know the name of the guy you like as soon as you tell them.
2. I don't think you always need a guy in your life, what are girlfriends for?
3. Okay, fair enough. You'd think that if you hooked up with some random, and are not totally trashed, you'd remember his name, but whatever.
4. Wait an appropriate amount of time so that you seem detached, before calling a guy, but dont leave it too long or he'll forget you and it'll be awkward.
5. Nononononono. You're allowed to date exs if your friend is cool with it. If she's not, then either shes not a very good friend or she's still into him. As for ex-liking-ness, thats just ridiculous, I mean, ask first to be safe, but it's not illegal.
6. I think your duty as a girl and a friend is to let your friends know what you think of their counterparts, without being too mean about them. But if they are a douche, and your friend is simply blinded by love, TELL HER QUICK.
7. Get permission before dating siblings, please.
8. I know that this is probably a very un-jealous-girlfriend thing to say but if you dont let him hang out with other girls, he'll get frustrated, and think you dont trust him. Why keep him on such a short leash. Girls hang out with other guys alone, so its not fair if you get pissed the other way round. Unless he's a cheating fuckface in which case, why are you dating him in the first place?
9. Err, I've had more than one 'Love of My Life' at one particular time, so this is a little null and void.
10. Why would you do that anyway :)
11. Nonsense, why should you have to ask to buy something you like? They dont own all of them, and its not fair of them to ask you NOT to buy some dress or whatnot if they have it. -_-
12. Common Sense.
13. An eye for and eye makes the whole world blind
14. I dont know if this is just because my school is extremely gossipy, but accidentally spilling a friends secret isn't good, but forgivable.
15. Same thing as 14.
16. Yeah, agreed.
17. Guys are dumb, say what you feel.
18. Dont give him your number, but dont push him calling your friend too hard, he'll be feeling rejected, and probably wont take your advice.
19. CHICKS BEFORE DICKS. I DONT KNOW HOW IT COULD POSSIBLY BE MADE EASIER FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
20. Cold shoulders kill friendships. Just TALK about it.
21. What if your friends with her boyfriend? And what if your friends being silly?
22. Amen to that, find time for your friends. CHICKS OVER DICKS :)
23. Say things nicely, but its your duty to make sure they look good.
24. True, not that my friends can drive.
25. Thats almost impossible for me, but good luck. Try to accommodate for your reckless friend, whom you love :)
26. ...Duh...
27. DONT BE INVITING YOUR BOYFRIEND TO FRIEND THINGS, girls night means girls night!
28. NO STEALING THUNDER, it's fucking annoying.
29. Dont let your friends do stupid shit.
30. Hating isn't loving :(
31. Obey? I suppose.
"STUNNING ANGLES" :)
Born to be bad, E.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
SHEUUZ. ♥
my new obsession.
SHOESSHOESSHOESSSS♥♥♥
recently instead of revising ive taken to browsing online for shoes that i couldn't ever possibly afford. that makes me sad, slightly.
i don't care if you think these shoes are insane, they're outrageously outrageous and thats exactly why i love them.
Friday, May 21, 2010
No no no no no! (yesyesyesyesyes!)
Have you ever screamed out in defiance or feigned annoyance at something that you secretly really, really, really want?
Its always useful, especially if you frequently have to compete with your sister for some item of clothing that you both want to wear on the same night. Usually, TADA! it works, and she leaves it in her closet and goes out in another outfit.
But every now and then, and almost always where J, my boyfriend is concerned, it backfires, leaving me with exactly what i do not want. Sometimes I blame it on myself, why can't I just tell him straight out what I want, I chastise myself. Mostly though, I blame it on his stupid boy logic.
Boys, I've gathered, are not very smart when it comes to reading in between the lines. My interaction with the male species so far, whether young or old, has led me to the conclusion that they are entirely incapable of subtleties.
When J asks me: 'Honey, what time d'ya want to meet up? ', the usual answer would be: 'Uhmm, I don't mind, what time's good for you? I mean, maybe we could possibly meet up earlier today? If you're free?'. J then goes: 'So you want to meet up earlier today?'. N: 'Well, I don't mind. Only if you want to, and if you're not busy.'
Bear in mind that while this dialogue is playing out, the dialogue in my head (yes, there are two voices in my head) is going something like this: YESYESYESYESYES, I want to meet up early, yes please, I've missed you so much, I can't wait to see you. Should I just tell him that I want to meet up early? Nahh, you'll sound wayyyy too eager. But what if he doesn't get it??
And, alas, he never gets it.
J: Well, if you don't really mind, How 'bout we just meet up normal time instead of earlier?
By this time, I am cursing his slow, dim-witted boy-ness and swearing at him in four different languages inside my head. As an added bonus, I am in a surly, cranky, don't-talk-to-me-or-I'll-tell-you-to-fuck-off mood for the rest of the day.
And now, I'm sitting here writing this, hating myself, because my sister has just bullied J into meeting me at 6pm instead of 7, because she wanted me to leave the house with her so she doesn't have to take the bus alone. She did this by stealing my cell phone and calling him up.
Now, I could've let this state of affairs continue, and I could've met him at 6, which is exactly what i want, having only seen him two times (which translates into a little less than six hours) in the past fortnight. But nooo, I had to call him up and tell him that 'Hey, so sorry! That was my sister, you don't have to meet me early, whatever time is good with me!'
So now, I am killing time blogging before I meet him.
At 7pm.
Fuck you J, why can't you just meet me early for once? Why do you think I bring up 'maybe possibly meeting up early' every. Single. Time?? Hmmm? I know this is all very immature, but I get this feeling where its like: Fuck you, Now that we don't have school, 3 hours on a Friday night is all that you can spare for me? Fuck. You.
Angry, frustrated,
N.
Mea culpa.
I always do it, I am the ultimate fan of contradictory, reverse psychology. When it gets me what I want, I feel like superwoman. 'Ha!', I think, 'I've outsmarted you!'.
Its always useful, especially if you frequently have to compete with your sister for some item of clothing that you both want to wear on the same night. Usually, TADA! it works, and she leaves it in her closet and goes out in another outfit.
But every now and then, and almost always where J, my boyfriend is concerned, it backfires, leaving me with exactly what i do not want. Sometimes I blame it on myself, why can't I just tell him straight out what I want, I chastise myself. Mostly though, I blame it on his stupid boy logic.
Boys, I've gathered, are not very smart when it comes to reading in between the lines. My interaction with the male species so far, whether young or old, has led me to the conclusion that they are entirely incapable of subtleties.
When J asks me: 'Honey, what time d'ya want to meet up? ', the usual answer would be: 'Uhmm, I don't mind, what time's good for you? I mean, maybe we could possibly meet up earlier today? If you're free?'. J then goes: 'So you want to meet up earlier today?'. N: 'Well, I don't mind. Only if you want to, and if you're not busy.'
Bear in mind that while this dialogue is playing out, the dialogue in my head (yes, there are two voices in my head) is going something like this: YESYESYESYESYES, I want to meet up early, yes please, I've missed you so much, I can't wait to see you. Should I just tell him that I want to meet up early? Nahh, you'll sound wayyyy too eager. But what if he doesn't get it??
And, alas, he never gets it.
J: Well, if you don't really mind, How 'bout we just meet up normal time instead of earlier?
N: Ehrm, yeah sure...
J: You sure you don't mind? 'Cause if you want...
N: Of course not! Whatever time is good with me! I mean... if you want to meet up earlier...we could spend more time together...but only if you want to...
J: Well, lets just meet up normal time, okay?
N: Uhh, yeah, sure...bye then!
By this time, I am cursing his slow, dim-witted boy-ness and swearing at him in four different languages inside my head. As an added bonus, I am in a surly, cranky, don't-talk-to-me-or-I'll-tell-you-to-fuck-off mood for the rest of the day.
And now, I'm sitting here writing this, hating myself, because my sister has just bullied J into meeting me at 6pm instead of 7, because she wanted me to leave the house with her so she doesn't have to take the bus alone. She did this by stealing my cell phone and calling him up.
Now, I could've let this state of affairs continue, and I could've met him at 6, which is exactly what i want, having only seen him two times (which translates into a little less than six hours) in the past fortnight. But nooo, I had to call him up and tell him that 'Hey, so sorry! That was my sister, you don't have to meet me early, whatever time is good with me!'
So now, I am killing time blogging before I meet him.
At 7pm.
Fuck you J, why can't you just meet me early for once? Why do you think I bring up 'maybe possibly meeting up early' every. Single. Time?? Hmmm? I know this is all very immature, but I get this feeling where its like: Fuck you, Now that we don't have school, 3 hours on a Friday night is all that you can spare for me? Fuck. You.
Angry, frustrated,
N.
Today for you, tomorrow for me.
I've found myself obsessed with Bohemianism.
His faults are more commonly those of self-indulgence, thoughtlessness, vanity and procrastination, and these usually go hand-in-hand with generosity, love and charity; for it is not enough to be one’s self in Bohemia, one must allow others to be themselves, as well. ...
What, then, is it that makes this mystical empire of Bohemia unique, and what is the charm of its mental fairyland? It is this: there are no roads in all Bohemia! One must choose and find one’s own path, be one’s own self, live one’s own life.
La Vie Boheme, the name of
my last post, comes from
the name of an amazing
song from the movie
RENT, one of my all time
favourites off broadway.
You all know, of course of the style of "boho". It's not very big in Hong Kong, but every so often, you'll see some vagabond-looking chick, in the middle of the city, carrying nothing but a guitar and wearing old gladiator sandals, and a long maxi dress with beads and shit everywhere. Just kidding, Hollywood ate the minds of people here ages ago. Mainsteam is allstream. But it's not true that you never see it.
Its just a rarity. Along with vintage and all the other things you bloggers love.
Bohemian isn't just a style, its a life. It's almost a disease. Not contagious, unfortunately, or I'm guessing people would be a little less crazy. Artistic tendencies, complete disregard for standard rules. The theology of the bohemian is to enjoy life while living. Whereas the majority of the world are working to some ultimate goal, something almost unfulfillable unless achieved, in which case it is replaced with some other dream.
Carpe Diem, bitches. E.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
We get by. And by that i mean theres no homicide to report. Yet.
A year isn't really that long, not if you put it in perspective, with things like decades, centuries, and the history of the world. It isn't even that long if you compare it to the average human life span.
But its a long, long, looong time when you're fifteen and in a relationship.
Its been just over a year that I've been with J now. Mostly, we get by without killing each other, or wanting to throw each other off a really tall building. Well, I don't get those urges anyways, he might.
It's probably because i talk alot. Alot. Like. Seriously. ALOT. I'm not even kidding, i can talk for hours on end about absolutely nothing, if only people would put up it. J is a quiet kinda guy, i always wonder if he just doesn't want to talk to me, find my conversation boring, is thinking about something (and when i assume this, i assume that he is thinking about every single thing that is wrong in our relationship, and that he is on the brink of breaking up with me).
I'm also very prone to bouts of insecurity, and i get ever so slightly (OK, i death glare at their direction) jealous when J talks to a girl in my class who used to like him big time. I always assume that one day, he is going to be lured in, and that they're going to tell each other that they want to be together forever, like in those romance movies. Unrealistic, i know, but its still my secret little fear!
E talked about lulls in a previous post. She's right (on my account anyways). J and me don't have a problem with silences. At the start, when we first got together, these silences would be awkward. I'm talking about OMG-what-should-i-say-now-do-i-kiss-him-or-talk-or-does-he-like-the-quiet-or-maybe-I'm-boring-him cringey, uncomfortable kinda awkward. But now, I guess we've become so comfortable with each other, that these lulls have become what Pulp fiction said. Comfortable silences.
I don't know about J, but when what happens in my head during those comfortable silences go something like this:
Yeah. Vraiment eloquent, i know :)
But what can I say? I love the guy, he makes me dizzy, and he makes me happy.
Now, I would happily write about J and me for another hundred thousand words, but I'm sure no-one wants to know :)
So, I'll just go and think.
About J.
And me.
Yknow, us.
Yeah. No, seriously, I'll stop with the whole lovestruck thing, its kind of disgusting, i know. It disgusts me too.
N :)
But its a long, long, looong time when you're fifteen and in a relationship.
Its been just over a year that I've been with J now. Mostly, we get by without killing each other, or wanting to throw each other off a really tall building. Well, I don't get those urges anyways, he might.
It's probably because i talk alot. Alot. Like. Seriously. ALOT. I'm not even kidding, i can talk for hours on end about absolutely nothing, if only people would put up it. J is a quiet kinda guy, i always wonder if he just doesn't want to talk to me, find my conversation boring, is thinking about something (and when i assume this, i assume that he is thinking about every single thing that is wrong in our relationship, and that he is on the brink of breaking up with me).
I'm also very prone to bouts of insecurity, and i get ever so slightly (OK, i death glare at their direction) jealous when J talks to a girl in my class who used to like him big time. I always assume that one day, he is going to be lured in, and that they're going to tell each other that they want to be together forever, like in those romance movies. Unrealistic, i know, but its still my secret little fear!
E talked about lulls in a previous post. She's right (on my account anyways). J and me don't have a problem with silences. At the start, when we first got together, these silences would be awkward. I'm talking about OMG-what-should-i-say-now-do-i-kiss-him-or-talk-or-does-he-like-the-quiet-or-maybe-I'm-boring-him cringey, uncomfortable kinda awkward. But now, I guess we've become so comfortable with each other, that these lulls have become what Pulp fiction said. Comfortable silences.
I don't know about J, but when what happens in my head during those comfortable silences go something like this:
-Sighs contentedly. Isn't this a beautiful day? This is a beautiful
day. I am just so lucky, i feel so lucky, i love being with J. J is so awesome
and loving, and *little mental spaz of happiness* . I know, I know, he is
so *another mental spaz of happiness*
Yeah. Vraiment eloquent, i know :)
But what can I say? I love the guy, he makes me dizzy, and he makes me happy.
Now, I would happily write about J and me for another hundred thousand words, but I'm sure no-one wants to know :)
So, I'll just go and think.
About J.
And me.
Yknow, us.
Yeah. No, seriously, I'll stop with the whole lovestruck thing, its kind of disgusting, i know. It disgusts me too.
N :)
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