We get by. And by that i mean theres no homicide to report. Yet.

A year isn't really that long, not if you put it in perspective, with things like decades, centuries, and the history of the world. It isn't even that long if you compare it to the average human life span.

But its a long, long, looong time when you're fifteen and in a relationship.

Its been just over a year that I've been with J now. Mostly, we get by without killing each other, or wanting to throw each other off a really tall building. Well, I don't get those urges anyways, he might.

It's probably because i talk alot. Alot. Like. Seriously. ALOT. I'm not even kidding, i can talk for hours on end about absolutely nothing, if only people would put up it. J is a quiet kinda guy, i always wonder if he just doesn't want to talk to me, find my conversation boring, is thinking about something (and when i assume this, i assume that he is thinking about every single thing that is wrong in our relationship, and that he is on the brink of breaking up with me).

I'm also very prone to bouts of insecurity, and i get ever so slightly (OK, i death glare at their direction) jealous when J talks to a girl in my class who used to like him big time. I always assume that one day, he is going to be lured in, and that they're going to tell each other that they want to be together forever, like in those romance movies. Unrealistic, i know, but its still my secret little fear!

E talked about lulls in a previous post. She's right (on my account anyways). J and me don't have a problem with silences. At the start, when we first got together, these silences would be awkward. I'm talking about OMG-what-should-i-say-now-do-i-kiss-him-or-talk-or-does-he-like-the-quiet-or-maybe-I'm-boring-him cringey, uncomfortable kinda awkward. But now, I guess we've become so comfortable with each other, that these lulls have become what Pulp fiction said. Comfortable silences.

I don't know about J, but when what happens in my head during those comfortable silences go something like this:

-Sighs contentedly. Isn't this a beautiful day? This is a beautiful
day. I am just so lucky, i feel so lucky, i love being with J. J is so awesome
and loving, and *little mental spaz of happiness* . I know, I know, he is
so *another mental spaz of happiness*

Yeah. Vraiment eloquent, i know :)

But what can I say? I love the guy, he makes me dizzy, and he makes me happy.

Now, I would happily write about J and me for another hundred thousand words, but I'm sure no-one wants to know :)

So, I'll just go and think.
About J.
And me.
Yknow, us.
Yeah. No, seriously, I'll stop with the whole lovestruck thing, its kind of disgusting, i know. It disgusts me too.
N :)