You'll be the poison, I'll be the cure.

Lulls.

Webster told me "a temporary calm, quiet, or stillness"

But really, who even listens to Webster anymore.

When I'm talking to my guy, D, on msn or Facebook Chat, or whatever there is ALWAYS a lull.

Its not calm (because I'm freaking out as to why he is not replying)

Its not quiet (because i'm screaming)

Its not still (because I'm jumping around, tearing bits of my hair out and throwing things)

Guys do that kind of thing to me, I'm not proud.

Lulls kill me, they appear as a foreboding factor, you know, like this little awakard silence could affect our entire relationship.

I'm not going to lie, I'm probably the slut of the group, and that is probably why my relationship is the most on edge. N and her boyfriend (goes without saying, they're perfect) and S and her guy (super cute, I really hope they last) dont have to worry about awkward silences. Maybe its me. Maybe it's me, and because I spend so much of my time freaking out internally, I dont have time to appreciate the silence.

I fully support that quote from Pulp Fiction:

“

Don't you hate that? Hate what? Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit? In order to be comfortable? I don't know. That's a good question. That's when you know you found somebody really special, when you can just shut the fuck up for a minute. Comfortably share silence.

”

I love silence, thats when most of the truths come out. But I do feel like I have to nervously bumble on about random things, like food, grass, giant televisions and so on, because (and this may just be because we've been going out for a week (A WEEKEEVERSARY, hahah, I kid, don't judge).

Goal for the week?

1. Have a phone conversation with D lasting more than 10 seconds

2. Shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share silence.

E.